SECURITY LEVEL : TOP SECRET
Laboratory of tridimentional antropometry
Analysis report # 69-007
Element : Women
Symbol : X
Discoverer : Adam (undetermined era)
Quantitative ananlysis :
Interesting from 85-65-85, but there exists isotopes ranging from 65-60-65 to 130-130-130. Note that paradoxally, the rarest samples are not necessarely the most sought-after.
Occurence :
Everywhere where men are present (and as long as there will be men). Exceeding in urban areas but is not within everyone's reach.
Physical properties :
Totally impredictable. Melts under good care, but very r ude if misused.Appears under different states, varying from raw, virgin material, to centenary wood. Non-magnetic, but attracted by money and nice cars. Develops all it's properties when relieved from it's textile skin which (normally) depraves it's aspect, however a thin well chosen layer can have surprising effects. In normal state, exists in a great variety of specimens, but artificial state changes make the judgement difficult, even for experts. Often very difficult to date by usual means, it's age being the last to increase.
Chemical Properties :
Great affinity for elements like Ag, Au and C (under crystal form only).Reacts violently if left alone! Can absorb an impressing quantity of food. Very peculiar reactions can be activated using catalysts like C(2)-H(5)-OH or sexy after-shaves. An essential catalysts have to be used very often (at least 5 dayly layers of "I love you"). Put in the dark, it's reactions become uncontrolled if favourable conditions are met. Very difficult to activate under highly stable and pure form. Reacts to pressures applied on the right spot. Warning: reactions are highly exothermic and sometimes enven very sonorous. Reaction easy to simulate: refer to the correct manuals (in color).
Storage :
The best results are achieved when the samples are aged from 18 to 25 years, however opinions diverge on this.
Use :
Essentially as decoration. Can be used as tonic for depressed people. Also usable during lonely nights as 'hot-water bottle' (if well prepared), or at the end of dinners (with candle light of course).
Tests :
A sample becomes rose-red when it is discovered it it's pure and natural state. It becomes green if it is confronted to an even nicer sample.
WARNING :
This is the most harmful product for a man! Highly explosive in unexpert hands. Use samples carfully if you need to repeat experiments. It is illegal to own permanently several samples, but a certain quota of change is tolerated ... and often observed.
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